Just Around the River Bend

I spent last weekend on a boy scout canoe trip.  Hub got to stay home alone, kind of a late Father’s Day gift.

population 5 to 500, huh

I wasn’t worried about taking both kids rolling on the river, since I had previous canoe training that involved going around buoys, getting flipped and swimming in clothes… when I was an 11 year old.

Image result for girl scout canoe(Scout)

Unfortunately, since then most of my canoe experience has come from the viewing of cartoons.  I was ready to sing my heart out and avoid picking up any sort of raccoon or cebu hop ons.

Image result for song of the cebu Image result for disney pocahontas canoeing

My daughter and I were the 1st canoe that capsized,

Image result for capsize badge  (we’re probably going to need 2 of these,  demeritwear.com)

But we were far from the last, which was oddly comforting.

I got some tough looking bruises and scrapes out of it though and a new phrase, prayer swear, that describes a paradoxical combination of words that may fly from your mouth involuntarily in the face of imminent doom!:)

We were actually mugged by THIS harmless looking, evil tree:

It punched me in the jaw and took both our sunglasses, a paddle and the kid’s water bottle.  Thankfully the camera, advil, etc… where in a ziploc belted to the boat, so I was still able to get this after picture: 

Fortunately, we were rescued by Eagle Scouts.  I tell ya, nothing beats travelling with an entourage of Boy Scouts.

You know, because they’re just so trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, er… sneezy, happy, gassy… well, no one’s perfect

Image result for boy scouts

The rest of the day went a little smoother… after I grabbed somebody who actually knew what they were doing to tell me everything they know about canoeing.

Still, if we got close to anything, my daughter would just yell, “help!  my mom doesn’t know what she’s doing!!”

I told her to stop attracting attention…

when you float trip, there are just some strange rangers out there

Pretty sure I saw a small child being towed behind a tube in an inflatable cooler.

Also, we had a group of young ladies/river sirens, with very colorful vocabulary, that got started right around the same time we did, (9a.m. / Happy Hour).  They had an impressive array of patriotic bikinis, which was perfect since we were rolling with a bunch of 11 to 17 year old boys.

So, moving right along…

My son had opted out of co-canoeing with me and sis and went with other canoe buddies (that didn’t capsize immediately).  Probably a good thing in the end.  I think our kids, right now, sharing a canoe might have been a bad idea at best… at worst degenerated pretty quickly into a full on Dr. Seuss situation… kind of a paddle battle, puddle muddle.  Although, if I remember right, that one took place in a bottle.

Image result for dr. seuss paddle battle

My girl in a very cold spring.

Oh, she’s so cute!  It wasn’t easy all day trying to line her up with all those low hanging trees.

The canoeing definitely wears them right out though.  Most of the kids end up looking like this:

IMG_2569
So Tired… Zzzzzzz…

Of course, I ended up looking a little more like this:

 

This might need a better story   …  I cut off the Haskin’s Canoe provoking Nanette’s River Rage.  That and all the hot sun and moonshine of the day precipitated the yelling of some heavily accented challenges, “Kiss My Country …”  Things quickly escalated, gauntlets (I mean coozies) were thrown and  I blacked out after she hit me with a banjo.  Yeah, that’s why you should always  keep your life jacket on Image result for smile colon parenthesis

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